Story of my life..

Right now with 2 young kids life has some major challenges and major rewards, I feel like I'm on a roller coaster everyday. You never know when there will be an up, down or a big loop. 

One of my challenges we are going through right now is NOT sleeping. My 2.5 year old has always been a HORRIBLE sleeper, she didn't start sleeping through the night until around 18 months and it hasn't really stuck with her. Some weeks she does great and will sleep with no problem but other weeks she's up 2-5 times a night! She's also in a toddler bed and can open hers and our bedroom door so she wakes up and comes barging into our room, so the whole just let her cry it out in her crib doesn't work anymore. 

Then my 6 month old isn't sleeping through the night either. He is such a major eater that he wakes up nurses  (completely empties out my milk) and goes right back to bed no problem. He wakes up 2-3 times a night, it wouldn't be so bad if his sister would sleep but she's not doing so well with sleeping so mama is up ALL night... Lucky me. 

We are currently living in the basement of my parents house and there is only 2 bedrooms down here, so KJ is in our room still.. Ahh.. So when Kaili'a wakes up and comes barging into our room she wakes him up.. Often. So thinking about sleeping training KJ to just cry it out a little bit to see if he will go back to bed is just not an option because if he crys he wakes up Kaili'a, then if Kaili'a crys (say if daddy tried putting her to bed and she wants mama so she throws a Major fit until I go in there) she wakes up KJ. It's just a horrible cycle right now. 

I would love hear what you've done to help your toddlers sleep and your baby's sleep. I'm ready to sleep though the night again :-) I haven't done that since mid way through my pregnancy with Kaili'a.. Once she started sleeping I was pregnant with KJ so was up from pregnancy dis comfort... 

We started a bedtime routine that really seemed to help for awhile. We start it about 20-30 mins before bed. All four of us go into Kailias room, we clean it, then she picks out two books for us to read, we say our prayers and then she gets one song. That routine turned out to be golden until recently and it still gets her to go to bed really well but the girl won't stay asleep. When she wakes up she usually is asking for water or juice or she just wants to be tucked back in. 9 out of 10 times its that easy but it still requires for me to get up out of bed and wakes me up. Then there's those times where it's a huge major fit to get her to go back to bed. 

My dad says that I should get use to it because there's not much I can do and I really hope that's not true lol. Luckily I am a SAHM so if I'm tired or slow starting its fine but no one wants a tired mommy because normally for me anyways when I'm tired I'm moody. 

Thank goodness for all of the up parts of the roller coaster days to make the downs not seem so bad. Kaili'a is talking so much it's so much fun to listen to her, she knows her primary colors and her normal shapes that she just amazes me. She's extremely independent and that helps when I am busy with her little brother. KJ is on the verge of sitting up by himself, he's a champ when it comes to eating and he's one of the happiest most chill babies I've ever seen. 

We have so much fun throughout the day that it can help me not focus on the not sleeping issue at night so much. Life can be super crazy and super busy but I wouldnt change it for anything. I love being a mom which I never thought I would. It's the most rewarding thing I have ever done, I have been able to witness sacrifices for others so much that it's humbled me.. Extremely.. Putting someone else's needs before my own helps me be able to practice delayed gratification daily :-) it's also made mine and my own mothers relationship much stronger! 

I feel like 50% of my day is spent changing diaper :-) 

First time in the saucer 

Good thing sisters only 10lbs heavier than brother because she wanted a turn too. 

Funny faces 

Thank you for reading, 

The Cancillas XOXO 

These two are my everything. 

New Chapter has begun

So our family has began our new chapter in our lives and that new chapter is adding a new baby to it. That's right, little Kj was born on September 6, 2014 at 5:25pm. He weighed 6lbs 10oz measuring at a whole 20 inches long (no wonder I could feel his every move when I was pregnant, he was cramped). 

I will be posting my "birth story" here soon, so keep an eye out for that :-) 

Just a little bit of the birth experience and our first week as a family of four. My labor and dilvery were quite a bit different than my first baby, this one was much much smoother. The staff at McKay Dee Hospital were just absolutely amazing, I couldn't have asked for better care. 

When it was time to go home, i actually was "ready" to go home. Unlike my first baby where I had extremely bad anxiety and didn't want to leave the hospital and cried uncontrollably the entire drive home. This time around I asked if I could leave early, 5 hours early and I felt good about it. I just wanted to get home to start our new lives and get started on trying to figure everything out, now being a mom of two kids. 

I definently have my hands full with a newborn and a two year, things have been interesting that's for sure. When I took Kj into the doctors the day after I was discharged to get his billi test re-done he had score quite a bit higher than the hospital and required using the lights to help get things moving. My first baby had jaundice pretty bad too but they both pulled through just fine. I have to admit, those lights looked pretty cool. 

Looked like we had pimped out his bassinet lol he actually slept extremely well on those lights. Luckily he only needed them for those 24 hours and when we went back in, his levels had dropped 3.5 points. 

I was very proud of myself that I was able to take him to the doctors when he was 3 and 4 days old with no anxiety (his car seat seems so big that I don't like putting him in but that was all I was stressed about). My first baby, I couldn't leave my house for the first week because of anxiety (we had two deaths in the families while I was pregnant with my first baby my grandpa and my brother in law just within a month of each other, it was an extremely rough emotional time that I believe it had an effect on me that caused my anxiety). 

My sweet daughter has been adjusting pretty well, she absolutely loves her little brother and seriously gives him about 1,000 kisses a day, it's adorable. 

Don't get me wrong, she's definently been acting out a bit more and it hasn't been all smooth sailing but I am proud of the way she has been handling this new change. 

A couple "firsts" we experienced this week were things like, the two kids and myself going to the store, I was a little nervous but we had to go and nobody else was home so away we went and survived quite nicely. Gave both kids a bath at the same time, Kaili'a was in the bath tub and can basically do everything but wash and rinse her hair and Kj was in his own bath tub by her bath tub getting a wash cloth bath. It was a bit crazy and very busy but both kids got cleaned and ready for bed. Kj took a little bottle for grandma while Joseph and I went to the store by ourselves :-) I didn't leave Kaili'a with anyone until she was like 4 months old, I'll tell you what, even though it's only been a week in a half since the hubby and I had any alone time it was much needed and I'm so glad we were able to and get some us time even if it was at the grocery store. 

It's been a fun, challenging, interesting, sleepless week in a half but very enjoyable. I can not believe we've been blessed with another baby and we couldn't be more grateful! 

Here are a few photos of our week! 

Thank you for Reading, 

The Cancillas 

Had to take a break from social media for awhile, I wanted to just focus on my family and my healing. 

Journal entry.

I have an app that gives me suggestions on topics to write about in my journal. I was a lot better at journal keeping while pregnant with Kaili'a so this app had really helped me just take a few moments and write a little thought down. 

The topic of the week was "how will having a baby change your life?" I just wanted to share my thoughts with you briefly how I feel about it. 

Journal entry: "I don't think you can ever really know how having a baby will change your life. This is going to be my second baby and I am still clueless about how it's going to effect my life this time around and on top of having a toddler as well. I'm a little nervous but not as nervous as I thought I would be, I'm someone that if I think too long about something it can totally freak me out and give me loads of anxiety. So I'm trying to just prepare for what I can and then take things as they come, no need to stress about what hasn't happened yet or what might happen, right?"

Thank you for READING, 

Tara Cancilla 

*the app I use is called pregnancy WedMD and I downloaded it for free on my IPhone* 

Size does matter.

There comes a time in your life when you realize that size does matter, what time of your life is that you maybe thinking, it's 3rd trimester pregnancy time of your life ;-) 

As u go through your pregnancy you can feel the changes your body is going through and you know you will eventually get so big that your size will matter and it will get in the way of you doing things. 

For me it happens seriously over night, it's in my 3rd trimester and one day it's like I grew just enough that my size is now getting in the way of me doing things that, I swear I could do the day before. 

All of a sudden you can't see your feet, or ANYTHING from the top of your belly button down, and you could swear that just last night you could. 

There's things you can't do beside not see ANYTHING below your belly button like for example: roll over from one side to the other, I have to wake up to roll over in the middle of the night. When I'm sitting on the couch (or any kind of a chair) I can't just stand up, I have to scoot myself up to the edge and either hold onto something or put my weight on my knee to stand up. If I am sitting next to my husband he will help by pushing me (by my butt) to get me up lol :-) 

Getting dressed has becoming part of my work out plan and if something drops on the floor, you can forget about it. Crossing your legs or even just keeping your legs together seems like a distant memory. 

It seems like a long list, I haven't even put everything down and it seems long well, because it is. :-) 

Pregnancy is such an amazing thing but it definitely comes with sacrifices. Not only do us women have to sacrifice our mind, body and soul over to be pregnant BUT our husbands or partners also have to sacrifice not having their wives for 9 months, because face it, once we see that little pregnant sign EVERYTHING is about our pregnancy and this unborn child we are carrying. So husbands cut us a little slack and wives cut your husband a little slack. Pregnancy is an extremely stressful time in a couples life let alone if you are having any other struggles and stresses to go on top of it. Just know, once that baby is born you (or your wife) will start to go back to herself again. Of course she will be different because she just became a mom for the first, second etc. Time and things will be different but you will recognize her or yourself again ;-) 

Every pregnancy is different so don't think that just because this is the second time like for me that you know what's coming. For me this pregnancy has been a good pregnancy but completely different in every other way, my last pregnancy at this stage (33 weeks) I was still going to a Zumba class 3-5 times a week and was able to out last most people in the class, I was walking 2 miles a day. This pregnancy is sucking the energy out of me and my entire body hurts 90% of the day no matter what I do or don't do. It's been crazy but I know it'll all be worth it. 

So again, husbands cut your wives a little slack and wives, cut your husbands some slack ;-) 

Thanks for reading, 

Tara Cancilla 

Just speaking the truth about what happens during (some) pregnancies, I can only speak from experience and I hope to be able to relate to others so that you don't feel alone. I know some of you are having better pregnancies and some are worse and I hope that no matter how your pregnancy that you and your baby stay healthy and that you both come out of this healthy and happy :-) 

Only 2 more months

Only 2 more months until little Kj arrives, I can hardly believe it's that soon. With this pregnancy I knew I was pregnant, well basically when it happened, and so even though I knew from like day 1 I still feel like this pregnancy is just flying by. 

Having a busy, busy toddler to keep up with has definitely helped with moving time along. I'm noticing though how much harder this pregnancy is just because I have another child to run after. 

My first pregnancy had it's ups and downs like every pregnancy but I was going to Zumba classes 3-5 times a week, and was able to out last most the class. I was walking everyday at least a mile or more, this pregnancy is a completely different story. 

I don't know if it's because I'm pregnant with a boy this time and he is just sucking all the life and energy out of me, or if having a toddler is really just that much harder on my body. With Kaili'a I didn't have anyone to keep up with, play with, hold, or things like that. But I haven't been very active at all with this pregnancy, Zumba classes are a joke because I can't even get through half the class and then afterwards I am so completely exhausted for the remainder of the day. Walking was going well at first but now, forget walking very far because my body can't handle it. 

My body hurts in ways it did not last time, it hurts to pick things up that are too heavy (my daughter is getting to that point and it kills me that I can't hold her as much as she would like me to) and it hasn't made having a toddler that loves to be creative with what she plays with "aka, putting EVERYTHING all over the floors" and I can't reach things to put them away. 

I can't believe the differences though from being pregnant with a girl and now with a boy. With my first pregnancy I ended up gaining 36lbs and food was just amazingly delicious until the end. This pregnancy, so far, I've only gained 15lbs and I don't have half the appetite I did with my last pregnancy. 

I guess I'll be able to have an idea what I'm having with future pregnancies before we find out lol 

Even though it's been a struggle this past few months I can not wait to have our little baby boy. Being a stay at home mom can be extremely challenging at times but it's also extremely rewarding and I love that I have been blessed to be a mom. I learn new things about myself everyday ;-) 

Stay tuned for our maternity photo shoot we have! It's going to be so much fun having Kaili'a involved! 

Thank you for Reading, 

Tara